Goldfinger

I'm taking a cue from a guy at what scenery! and getting all spilly:

I'm newly wed, which makes me a newlywed. I'm also recently showered, but that's not its own thing I suppose.

People ask me how things are different than pre-wedding. I answer their question with a question, because I can't control the intonation of my voice.


"It's exactly like it was before I was married?"

I jest, but that's really how I say it, because life is the same. My girlfriend metamorphized to my fiance and then to my wife with beautiful wings, but that's all in name only. My feelings for her didn't change.

And yet.

She still makes pie (suck on that sweet potato, fellas), and I still clean the sink drain, but now our fingers are draped with precious metals. She has to take her ring off if she doesn't want it covered in dough, and I have to take my ring off if I don't want it covered in...just, you wouldn't believe that mess unless you saw it. Seriously, is that the elephant in the room? Sink drain blockage? Our nation needs to address this if we're going to move past it. Our drains don't run. Yikes. Just, wow. Is it plant, animal, mineral? The answer is no. no.

I didn't write my own vows.